I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
