you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
