I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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