is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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