I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
