dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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