i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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