this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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