I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize