I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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