he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
