The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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