"it" just moved
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
