Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
