Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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