The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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