just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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