Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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