Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
