Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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