he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
a search helicopter?!
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
be right there i have to get my cape
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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