he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
