My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
