i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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