It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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