that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
