Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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