Me too!
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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