I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
as a side note pls kill me
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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