You can't motorboat a personality
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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