3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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