I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
