Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
