i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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