hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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