Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
