your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
