It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
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