saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Princesses don't give blow jobs
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
