Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
barbara walters just said penis...
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
