I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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