ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
