which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Randomize
