Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
