Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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