The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
