Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
