Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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