I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Randomize
