Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
