He uses pillows to masturbate.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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