Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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