no, he came in my armpit
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
