i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I've blown a few things in my day
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
