id be glad to
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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