I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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