Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
