oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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