i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
