His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
