im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
