i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
