dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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