first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
That's when you crack a 10am beer
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
