Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
