I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
