I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
