Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
