First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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