I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
