how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
