hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
